I had this idea for Galentines but I’m not gonna get my shit together by then but you’ve inspired me to get the wheels turning no matter when. My idea is to invite a handful of friends for a dinner and game night and then have them also bring a friend. A way to expand beyond.
As someone who also found motherhood a bit isolating this entire post really resonated. I love the action steps you’re taking to build your community. BEYOND inspiring! Inviting kids over for play dates amidst the mess of my home has been so good for my kiddos. Still makes me cringe, but absolutely worth it! Xx
Yes! I felt the same way when we had our fist child. My parents and in laws live at least two hour away so building a community felt necessary but so hard! It’s taken awhile, but 12 years into this parenting thing, we’ve finally found our groove- mostly thanks for my son who we deem our social director since the majority are his friends parents! Bonding during play dates can happen even if you’re interrupted every other minute!
Yes! We are about 90 minutes from my in-laws and 9 hours from my parents. Since having my second baby, I've definitely felt the need to have more backup support.
I love that your son is your social director. My mom definitely made friends through me growing up, so I get it!
I definitely have intrusive thoughts about making new friends. I lean more introverted and it can be hard to put myself out there! I have a strong sense of community through my work at a local community center and it’s where I’ve met most of my close friends(post college) over the last 10 years but I’ve been wanting to expand outside of that social circle.There are a lot of new moms on my cul de sac and so this past fall I put aside my anxiety and self consciousness about my less than perfect home and invited everyone over for a pumpkin carving party. Since then we’ve had weekly play dates at each others homes and I’m so glad I broke the ice!
I've also made such great friends at work! It's been the hardest part of starting new jobs for me, since those connections are more challenging to maintain without the 35+ hours together. I love that you reached out to everyone -- I think most of us are struggling with those feelings and just waiting for someone else to take it on.
Ooohh Tricia, this resonates. I find it hard to put myself out there and asking for help is sooo tricky for me! So glad to have found a community here ❤️
Yes! I try to remind myself that I would always want to help someone else, and that's made it a bit easier to ask when I need it. Glad to have found you here <3
Community is everything and especially after becoming a mother. I’m so glad you’re here and sharing with us all 🙌🏼 substack can feel clicky at times but there is room for us all and finding people who really connect with is incredibly special! 💙
I have also found it so hard to put myself out there since becoming a mom because I am so introverted..I finally realized I could be sad about not having friends or I could try.
I especially loved your point about hosting even when you feel like your house isn’t “finished” I fight those thoughts weekly!
Cannot wait to hear about your cute girly party-how fun💕
Thank you for reading! I think I'm currently in a fake it 'til I make it phase of being a person who reaches out/invites people over/etc. I've decided that if the worst thing that happens is I get ignored, it's not the end of the world, you know?
And maybe it’s none of my business! Love this attitude ❣️
I really appreciated you naming all this.
I had this idea for Galentines but I’m not gonna get my shit together by then but you’ve inspired me to get the wheels turning no matter when. My idea is to invite a handful of friends for a dinner and game night and then have them also bring a friend. A way to expand beyond.
As someone who also found motherhood a bit isolating this entire post really resonated. I love the action steps you’re taking to build your community. BEYOND inspiring! Inviting kids over for play dates amidst the mess of my home has been so good for my kiddos. Still makes me cringe, but absolutely worth it! Xx
Yes! I felt the same way when we had our fist child. My parents and in laws live at least two hour away so building a community felt necessary but so hard! It’s taken awhile, but 12 years into this parenting thing, we’ve finally found our groove- mostly thanks for my son who we deem our social director since the majority are his friends parents! Bonding during play dates can happen even if you’re interrupted every other minute!
Yes! We are about 90 minutes from my in-laws and 9 hours from my parents. Since having my second baby, I've definitely felt the need to have more backup support.
I love that your son is your social director. My mom definitely made friends through me growing up, so I get it!
I definitely have intrusive thoughts about making new friends. I lean more introverted and it can be hard to put myself out there! I have a strong sense of community through my work at a local community center and it’s where I’ve met most of my close friends(post college) over the last 10 years but I’ve been wanting to expand outside of that social circle.There are a lot of new moms on my cul de sac and so this past fall I put aside my anxiety and self consciousness about my less than perfect home and invited everyone over for a pumpkin carving party. Since then we’ve had weekly play dates at each others homes and I’m so glad I broke the ice!
I've also made such great friends at work! It's been the hardest part of starting new jobs for me, since those connections are more challenging to maintain without the 35+ hours together. I love that you reached out to everyone -- I think most of us are struggling with those feelings and just waiting for someone else to take it on.
Ooohh Tricia, this resonates. I find it hard to put myself out there and asking for help is sooo tricky for me! So glad to have found a community here ❤️
Yes! I try to remind myself that I would always want to help someone else, and that's made it a bit easier to ask when I need it. Glad to have found you here <3
So true! ❤️❤️
Community is everything and especially after becoming a mother. I’m so glad you’re here and sharing with us all 🙌🏼 substack can feel clicky at times but there is room for us all and finding people who really connect with is incredibly special! 💙
Also you are so brave for hosting a bunch of kindergartners but at the same time it sounds like so much fun
So glad to have found you here, Kate!
TBD if I survive the noise of this many five year old girls in my house lol
I have also found it so hard to put myself out there since becoming a mom because I am so introverted..I finally realized I could be sad about not having friends or I could try.
I especially loved your point about hosting even when you feel like your house isn’t “finished” I fight those thoughts weekly!
Cannot wait to hear about your cute girly party-how fun💕
Thank you for reading! I think I'm currently in a fake it 'til I make it phase of being a person who reaches out/invites people over/etc. I've decided that if the worst thing that happens is I get ignored, it's not the end of the world, you know?
Yes, to all of the same intrusive thoughts, Tricia!!!!!
Thanks for reading :) Glad to know it's not just me!
Your upbringing almost sounds mythical to this LA native. How amazing! Very intrigued by that book and podcast you mentioned in the intro, too.
It honestly was - I left out the part about the diabetic pot belly pig who would wander up from a house by the creek to raid our neighbor's compost 😂
I've heard Priya on a podcast before, but after hearing the story on NPR this week I definitely want to read the book!