Notes from February '26
The longest shortest month
My baby will be nine months old next week. It feels like a big milestone, for him and for me. I filled out his developmental questionnaires in preparation for his well visit. And I have my own appointment to check up on my mental health, so I’ve been reflecting a lot on how I’m doing with PPA/PPD, and in general.
My attention span feels shorter than ever lately. I open apps, become overstimulated, and almost immediately close them. I found myself having a harder time reading Substack posts this week. I felt the same guilt I experience when copies of the newspaper or The New Yorker pile up in our house, unread. I can become super avoidant when overwhelmed (ask me how long I’ve had a reminder on my phone to reschedule my ENT appointment). But also, sometimes I wonder if consuming so much content all the time blurs my own sense of self. Do I really need to know all the details of what’s going on in the world? Do I really love that bag, or have I just seen five too many recommendations from people who were gifted product?
I’ve spent some more time on Pinterest in the past few days, scrolling a bit and paying more attention to what I’m drawn to. I’ve journaled more, just to get my thoughts onto a page. In all things, I’m trying to move a little more slowly and intentionally. I’m leaving items in online carts for days (or longer), taking some time to discern if I really need to buy another thing. I’ve been driving to work with the radio off and leaving space for the quiet. I’ve never been someone who feels great in silence. I have always sought background noise — podcasts, TV, music, the sounds of a coffee shop — but lately I have found myself settling a little more comfortably into having nothing on.
Earlier this week, in all that quiet thinking time, I realized that I’m never alone anymore. Before my son was born, I would often have a bit of time at home before picking up my daughter from daycare. Sometimes my husband would take her to choir practice, or let her tag along as he coached, and I would find myself with hours on my own. Now, the only time I have to myself at home is when I am in my bathroom from 5-6am each morning. My goal for March is to be more consistent at taking some alone time at home, even if it’s an hour or two a week. This week, I happened to have a work event, so my husband had to take both kids to an appointment. I had an hour alone and I sat on the couch and ate Cheerios while watching TV (see below). It was perfect.
I’ll be back next week with a post I’ve been working on for weeks that I feel really excited about. In the meantime, here’s everything I read, saw, ate, bought, and loved in February.
Obviously, Love Story. I’ve only watched the first two episodes so far, and I’m hooked. I also started listening to the book that inspired it, Once Upon a Time.
This cookbook, which I scooped from the library last weekend. I haven’t been able to eat gluten since 2012, and I’ve never gotten used to how terrible most GF bread is. Dare I attempt a GF sourdough hobby this year?
I got these jeans and sized up. I’m looking forward to wearing them with flip flops someday in the very distant future, when there isn’t snow on the ground.
Pre-kids (pre-daycare bills), I bought myself flowers to arrange most weeks. I’ve mostly reallocated that budget, but I bought flowers for our Galentine’s party. I forgot that flowers get marked way up around Valentine’s day, but I found carnations, baby’s breath and pink hydrangeas at Trader Joe’s that were under budget and extremely cute once I put them together. Don’t write off the the cheap flowers!
I’ve been cooking my dad’s breakfast casserole each week so we can grab a piece in the mornings. The recipe he sent me is a text message, but this one is pretty close.
You know that Substack nightmare (lol) when someone says what you’ve been feeling, and they articulate it so much better than you could have? That was me reading just a splash this week. Ariane Anusbigian’s post was worth the subscription upgrade.
If you’ve got GapCash to burn — we have and love these, this, and these (they hold up to messy babies and daycare).
I’m eyeing these with a button down and flats when it’s finally warm enough for exposed ankles.
I cannot stress enough the importance of a little treat in my life. Once a week, usually on Fridays, I go to a vegan/GF spot near my school to grab lunch. They always leave a note on to-go bags, and it’s nice to have something to look forward to.
I mentioned this a few weeks ago, but Strangers was so good. Listen to the audiobook, it flies by.
This 90s playlist is so good.
I decided to lean into being a fun snow day mom. We spent three days at home with the blizzard. I covered our coffee table with rolls of paper for drawing, brought snow balls in for bath time, and we had a movie marathon.
I got mine secondhand a few years ago, but this sweater is my warmest and most low-maintenance. I have the dark charcoal, but I’m thinking of getting another to save for next winter.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever been more wrecked by anything or anyone than Punch. I made the mistake of learning about him while pumping last week, which resulted in a whole lot of tears.
I have three weddings in five weeks this summer, and I’m thinking of renting dresses to wear. I went on a Nuuly and RTR deep dive last weekend, but I’d love to hear if you have any recommendations or tips!
Let’s chat!
I hope you’ve got slow, sleepy weekend plans ahead (or that you’re ready to rage, if that’s your cup of tea). I’m going to see a lady about my eyebrows, for the first time in nearly two years today. Wish me luck.
What was the best (or worst, complainers welcome here) part of your February?
I struggle with not having my alone time. It’d been a constant struggle the past 12 years since having my first. Just know I feel you.
Best of Feb- snow days that forced us to slow down and spend uninterrupted time as a fam. Worst of Feb - I’m cold, and really miss outdoor time. Excited for longer days on the horizon.
One of the most interesting realizations that I had postpartum was how jealous I felt of my husband for simply being able to drive to work by himself in his own thoughts without having to worry about any real or phantom crying in the backseat. Postpartum was such a dyad for me of feeling isolated while never actually being alone.
Also, if you haven’t already discovered her, check out the loopy whisk on Instagram. She has so many incredible gluten-free recipes that I use when I’m cooking for friends with celiac.