Posting early this week because I’m heading out of town for the weekend! This is a long one, click through to read the whole post!
For a while now, I’d known that today’s post would be about what I was packing for the trip I’m taking with my college friends to celebrate a friend who’s getting married in August. And it still will be, eventually. But I want to gab a bit first because we all have our demons, and mine is being chatty. 1 And after reading some recent Substack posts, it felt weird to not be more mindful about what I’m putting out into the world.
I read some really excellent pieces this week that made me think in good ways. Nicole Cherelle brought together some amazing writers for a discussion about why all the recent chatter about summer style lacks diversity of bodies and cultures, and how the algorithm is perpetuating a really boring aesthetic. Whitney Goodman wrote a rant that hit so close to home for me — what are we doing to ourselves (and the children watching us) if we’re all tangled up in gifting and affiliate links without discernment? And Angela Galvez posted a few weeks ago about the brands she won’t spend her money on.
I really recommend you check out their posts, I thought they were fantastic.
There’s been a lot of talk about taffeta lately. A $400+ pair of pants might really be great. I’ll never know for sure because a) I can’t afford them and b) I could never look my mother in the eye again if I spent that much money on a single pair of pants. I hope that doesn’t come across as judgment — how you spend your money is your business, and we all have different values (and, access, if we’re being honest). But when I feel like everyone on the internet is trying to convince me that we all need the same $80 t-shirt, I know it’s time to step back. My most expensive t-shirt cost $38, and again, please do not repeat that to my mother. 2
An aside that feels related — Clare Moore made her own taffeta pants with her grandmother and that feels like an infinitely cooler pants backstory. We should all be sewing more?
I give folks a lot of credit for saying a thing that helps us all to make sense of what feels messy. I hope you read the posts by Nicole, Whitney, and Angela. I’m sure there have been more I haven’t mentioned here, so feel free to drop any other writers/posts in the comments. My favorite things to read help me build connection and learn about someone’s story and experience. If posting affiliate links is how you most love to show up here — get your bag, girl. I’m just hopeful there’s still space for the in-between. I want to make sure that writing and community come first in my corner. So while I do use affiliate links sometimes, I hope they never become the main focal point. Using ShopMy has given me a little bit of extra spending money each month so I can grab lunch, coffee, or a new dress without feeling guilt. When you buy something from a link I post, it’s a big deal for me because it helps me to have that margin.
P.S. I’m doing a no-buy July because (lol) I don’t get paid in July. If you want to join me, let me know! On to the rest of my rambling — I’m leaving my house! Without my family! For two nights!
A weekend away
One of my best friends from college is getting married in August. I’m so excited for her, and so thrilled to celebrate her. We’re going to the Catskills for the weekend. The plans include hiking, dinners at home, and maybe a few daytime outings. Am I overpacking? Yes. But, as a person who used to bring 18 pairs of underwear for 5 days of field hockey camp *just in case*, I feel like this shows a lot of growth.
I was talking with a male coworker recently about how he felt like he needed activities to do when his friends visit. Like, they have to be golfing, or watching a game, or going to a brewery to hang out. I feel so differently. I love nothing more than to sit around and talk with my friends. I’m pretty regularly getting in trouble when there’s a board game happening, because I will not pay attention to the rules and just want to chat.
I am admittedly not the best traveler because I’m not a great sleeper. But I think it’s important to show up for your people. I also have a firm belief that the bride having a great time is the number one priority at a bachelorette party,3 so the only thing you really need to pack is a good attitude. Because I’m a fairly nervous traveler, I usually spend a lot of time controlling what I can control — through packing lists.
I’m packing everything in my trusty North Face duffel from 2011. I’m also using these capsules* that Cadence sent me last month — I’m hoping they can help to ease my tendency for overpacking. I’ll report back!
Let’s chat!
How are we feeling about everything? Do you have any tricks for falling asleep when you’re not in your own bed? Did you also overpack underwear for camp?
Anything goes.
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This post includes some affiliate links. The affiliate links I use generate a small, but meaningful amount of money for me at no cost to you. I appreciate your support so much.
*item was gifted.
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This is what I told someone when I recently divulged that my family childhood nickname was “Mouth” because I talked so much. It’s mostly been left in the past, but does occasionally pop up in my 16-person cousin group chat.
Not that anyone asked, but my contribution to the constant “Best White T-shirt” debate is (currently) a 3-pack from Old Navy. If you have a toddler, you should probably just buy all your clothing in a 3-pack to be safe.
Fortunately my friends also believe this, which is why there was a PowerPoint presentation at my bachelorette dinner.
What I love about this platform is how real people are. Something I always disliked about the other platforms was the feeling of not belonging because I didn't buy that item. When I joined Substack I wanted it to be a different experience. This is a human experiment because even though we do want to buy that piece everyone is talking about, the reality is that one, I don't need it, two, I have other priorities than spending so much money on one piece, and three, I don't have that kind of money. So I think the best thing is to observe, be happy for the people that can enjoy it and move on. Also, because of Nicole's note and another one I saw, it made me realize how the algorithm is not so diverse, and I love that we are all talking about it and maybe becoming more conscious when writing posts or creating mood boards. Have fun with your friends, chat as much as you can, connect and put that phone away. 😘
Standing in solidarity without a taffeta short in sight.