Getting Dressed (Part I)

Style notes from my five year old

I’m currently 15 weeks postpartum and life feels mostly normal-ish. We’ve finally settled into a rhythm around here, at least for the time being. My daughter and husband are back at school and I have ten weeks left of maternity leave before I head back to mine. Over the last month, I spent a lot of time resting, a lot of time not writing, and a lot of time thinking about the things I wanted to focus on that would help me feel like myself. I landed on Eat, Move, Wear, Read. I’m attempting to eat enough nutritious food to keep up with my rapidly growing baby’s demands, to move my body for at least 30 minutes every day, to get dressed each morning, and to read each night.

But getting dressed is feeling stressful. I’m breastfeeding and still not fully back to my pre-pregnancy weight. There’s only so many days I can wear a button down shirt, and I miss my dresses. I remember this feeling so vividly from five years back - I suddenly hated everything in my closet and had a strong desire to throw it all away and start from scratch. I’m resisting the urge, along with the urge to randomly buy a bunch of new clothes that may or may not solve all my problems. Instead, I’m taking my cues from my five year old, who has the sort of discerning style and assuredness I aspire to.

Back to school shopping for a first day of school outfit

In the last week, I’ve started paying attention to my daughter’s style choices. It started with the choosing of a new fleece jacket. I picked out three options online and asked her to choose. She picked the simplest one, pink with a hood. When it arrived in the mail, she looked unsure. It’s not cozy enough. That was her only feedback, and somehow I was able to determine that she was looking for a fluffier, higher pile. We found a new option that better fit her vision. I realized this is how she approaches all of her clothing choices - decisively and without compromise. Rather than feel exhausted by her stubbornness, I’ve decided I can learn from her as I figure out what I want to buy for myself.

• She knows what she likes. About a year ago, she landed on a uniform - cotton dresses with skater skirts, paired with shorts underneath. In the colder months, she wears similar long-sleeved dresses and leggings. Solid colors are always preferred over prints (unless it’s tie-dye), and pink is always preferred over anything else. She wears this to school, to birthday parties, to tennis lessons. Occasionally, she’ll add a sparkly tutu for dramatic effect. (We like Gap and Primary for dresses and Old Navy or Target for leggings, in case you’re in the market.)

  

  Back when red was her favorite color

  

  US Open mini fashion

• She doesn’t settle. My daughter would never ask to get something she didn’t truly love, and she’d certainly never get something just because it was on sale. She’s not afraid to point out some small detail that makes a dress not quite right. She cares about textures, colors, and how something feels when she’s wearing it, and she’s willing to wait to find exactly what she wants. To her, it was worth it to be cold at the bus stop for a few days while she waited for the perfect pink fleece jacket to come along.

• She isn’t always looking for something new. We’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of some of my daughter’s favorite dresses for fancier days. In the spring or summer, she always wears a smocked dress with shoulder ties in either blue or pink. In the winter, she loves a velour skater dress from Hanna Andersson. I’ve had to buy multiple sizes from Poshmark as she grows. For special occasions, she doesn’t ask for a new dress; she wants to wear the ones she already loves.

• She isn’t afraid to be herself. This past summer, there was a superhero-themed day at camp. My daughter showed up in a tutu and a Baby Shark t-shirt. She didn’t care about the superheroes, she loved her outfit and was so proud to show it off. I hope she’s like this forever.

  

  Featuring the light-up Skechers of her dreams

And so, as I adjust to my changing postpartum body, I’m hoping to borrow some of my daughter’s wisdom. I do need new clothes, or at least I think I will when I return to work in a few months. But I’m hoping to take a slower approach this time. I’m also borrowing some wisdom from writers here:

Emily Grady Dodge rebuilt her wardrobe slowly and steadily after having kids (I’ve read this piece about 10 times in the past two months).

Kelly Williams wrote On Getting Dressed Every Morning and it’s been motivating me to put on real clothes each morning, even if we’re just walking to the bus stop.

Nicole Cherelle wrote all about getting dressed when you're 5 ft and this was the primer I never knew I needed as a fellow Very Short Person.

Up next for me — taking stock of what I have, what I actually wear, and what I might need. Send tips, send prayers, send ideas for what a mom of two/high school counselor might wear when she goes back to work in November.